Ryan's makeshift deoderant

Last week when I was taking Ryan to Youth Group I smelled this nasty garlic-y smell. He had JUST taken a shower, but I had to ask "Ryan, did you remember to put on deoderant? Your armpits smell!"

He freaked.

He HAD forgotten to put it on and he did NOT want to go to Youth Group stinking! I mean, there are GIRLS there!

"Mom, what do I do? {in a panic} Do you have anything I can use?"

"The only thing scented I have on me is gum, Ryan"

"Give it to me!"

He proceeds to pop the gum into his mouth, chew it up and place some in each of his HAIRY armpits!

"Is that better?"

"No. Now you smell like mint and garlic!"

"I'll just tell people I was helping my mom cook. Altho they will wonder what on earth you were cooking! Oh, what do I do if I need to raise my hand to answer a question? {he proceeds to practice hand-raising positions} This will work, except NOW I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"

He arrives at church and sits down next to his friend.

Trevor: What is that smell? It's minty.

Ryan raises his arm and shows him.

Trevor: Dude! WHY!??

Ryan tells him. Later: Trevor, want some gum?

By the time he's home he's in pain because it's pulling his armpit hairs. He tries to extricate the gum, but it is so imbedded in his hairs that he can't cut it out. He asks me to cut it. I could hardly go near those smelly armpits. I was trying to hold my nose, but I couldn't hold the gum and scissors so I just held my breath. Still couldn't get the scissors between the gum and skin.

So he yanked the gum out, pulling the hair out with it's roots.

"Ouch! Ow! Ouch!"

I had to grab my camera.


We had laughed so hard all evening, we needed to record something of the night for posterity, anyway.

That kid!